Tuesday Tip - Gift Giving to Men

It's that time of the year again - the time when you realize you have 10 to 20 to 30 people to purchase meaningful, useful, and in budget presents.  Is there a harder task?  It seems that every year I'm scrambling to find something that will make the recipient happy and know that I love them, but also not break the bank.  This year I started early.  WAY early.  July to be exact.  And except for my husband, I'm done with every single person on my list.  And my husband is pretty easy because he's completely selfless and would be just as happy if I gave him a picture and said "I love you".  I wish everyone was so easy!

But it wasn't easy. Especially not for the men in our families.  I always struggle to find good gifts for men.  For some reason I feel like the options are more limited.  I mean, women love to get clothes, but do men really love to receive a new shirt?  And there's always jewelry for girls, but what's the male equivilant?  Tools? And who can afford to get new power tools for all the men in their life?  

So here are some tips I've found along the way that might help any of you that are still struggling with finding the elusive perfect gift for a man.  Remember - not everyone falls in these little categories, so you might not be able to use all this advice for everyone.  

1. Think Function, Not Sentiment - Men tend to think of gift giving in terms of an exchange of goods.  For women, the meaning behind the present is usually just as important as the actual gift - this isn't the case for men.  A man is probably going to appreciate an item that he can hold on to and use.  
2. Listen to What He Wants - If he's been saying for the past 3 months that he would like a certain book, or new tennis shoes, or a day of golfing - it's ok to get him that exact thing.  You don't have to go out of your way to surprise him with something "he's always wanted, but didn't know it."  He'll be just as happy to receive the thing that he knew he wanted.  The key is to pay attention and buy the item he wants, not the item that you think he should want.  
3. Think of His Interests - If he's really into sports, get him tickets to an event you know he would like to attend.  If he's into history, get him a book on a topic you know he likes.  It he likes sailing, get him a boat.  Ha ha - just kidding.  Maybe you can get him something to do with sailing - like a book, or lessons, or a life jacket.  
4. Avoid Generic Token Gifts - This actually applies to both men and women.  You never want to give a gift that says "I took little effort in getting you this gift."  If it's a gift you could give anybody, then it's not for a special someone.
5. Make It Something Fun - While some men enjoy practical gifts (I'm related to a lot of them), most men want a gift that's fun.  The key is finding something that the man will use, but that will be fun to use.  

I hope this was helpful for someone.  I'm still learning a lot about gift giving, but this few guidelines really helped me this year.  

Enjoy the pleasure of blessing others this season!

Curiously Strong, Curiously Addictive

Guess who loves Altoids?  My little Charissa.  We were at the DMV today renewing my license, and Charissa was pretty hungry, but they have several huge signs that say "No food or drinks."  But mints don't count as "food", so I gave CJ an altoid to distract her while we waited.  And then she wanted another.  And another.  And another.  She kept saying "Pwesh mendt?"  

Silly little girl.  I guess I should get more and more used to her liking grown-up things.  

Too Far

My toes that is.  Yesterday afternoon I realized that I needed to paint my toenails and I worked and worked and worked and huffed and puffed and finally got all the old nail polish off.  But then I was too tired to go through all that again to repaint them, and for anyone who read my post on October 29th where I gave you 7 little known facts about myself, you already know that leaving my toenails unpolished is simply not an option for me.  So I asked my wonderful, loving husband to help me.  What do you think?

I think he did a great job.  But I am looking forward to being able to reach my toes without feeling like I can't breathe.  Only six more weeks!

Thursday Night Funtivities

Charissa and I decided that we needed to have a family fun night tonight.  We planned games and things to do while Britt was at work and we were ready once dinner was over.  We only got to do two of the things I had planned, so I'm saving the others for another night.  

We started off with a little family bowling in the kitchen.  We had six solo cups set up like pins and used two nerf-like balls as bowling balls.  Charissa thought the game should be played by going right up to the cups, throwing the ball at them, and then kicking whatever cups dared to still be standing.  It was pretty funny to watch.  And she was really good at setting up the cups after each round, so I never ended up having to do that.  Unfortunately I took no pictures of this event - hopefully we'll do it again and I'll remember the camera.

After bowling we finger-painted!  We had so much fun.  And it became clear that none of us are painters.  But that doesn't matter - we enjoyed ourselves.  I did get pictures of the finger-painting.  

If you ever paint with a small child, I recommend them being naked.  It's just easier. 

Doesn't she look like she's really considering her next move?

Charissa's beautiful artwork ...

Britt's beautiful artwork.  When I asked him to "tell me about his painting" he explained that it's the African Sahara with two trees and an alligator between them and then a lake at the bottom.  I think he could make it as a finger-painter.  

We had a lot of fun just hanging out together as a family and playing.  I'm so thankful for my wonderful husband and precious little girl.  They bring so much joy to my life.  And, now my refrigerator proudly displays our artwork.  It's a happy home.  

I Don't Even Know This Kid ...

This is a picture my mom took this weekend while we were at her house.  Does that even look like Charissa to you?  I mean, of course it does, because it is her.  But yet, she doesn't look like herself. I think she looks too grown up.  But still cute.  

Tuesday Tip - Trusting God Through the Election

I vividly remember the 1992 election between Bill Clinton and George H. W. Bush.  So many Christians were talking about what would happen if Clinton was elected and all the doom that would surely happen.  I had just seen the movie Serafina, which is about Apartheid in South Africa, and I was certain that if Clinton was elected we were soon going to be in a situation like that with gang violence in the streets and fear everywhere.  Well, Clinton was elected, but no one bombed my school or threw bricks through the windows of my house, or arrested anyone in my family.  I was rather shocked.  All my fears had been for nothing.

Some of those same fears have been reappearing in the last few days.  I was up in the middle of the night last night (as usual being 33 weeks pregnant) and I could not stop thinking about the election.  I laid there in bed and prayed for a long time.  Praying for voters to vote wisely, praying for whichever person was elected would do good and not harm, and praying for my own heart that I would trust God through it all.  

I know a lot of people have a link to this brief message by John Piper on their blogs, but for those of you who haven't heard it I'm posting it for you.  It's only 5 minutes so it won't take up a lot of your time.  It helped me have some clarity in how to handle my emotions today.  

And here's a short article by Albert Mohler on Prayer for America on Election Day.  He goes through things that we can be praying for throughout the day.  

I hope that you vote today, but more importantly I hope you trust God today.  

Taking the Time to Enjoy Her While I Can

This past weekend we went to my parents house to hang out with them and my aunt and uncle and their two girls.  It was a busy weekend of family projecting, but we had a good time with everyone and I was really glad for the chance to hang out with them before I'm homebound with an infant.  

My mom has a new love for the Mamma Mia! Soundtrack, so we listened to that a couple times over the weekend.  And yes, there was much singing and crazy dancing.  Some by Charissa, some by the adults.  There is a song on the soundtrack called "Slipping Through My Fingers" that the mother sings about her daughter growing up and becoming an adult.  Every time I hear it, I cry (of course I do have a lot of pregnancy hormones rushing through my veins so some of the emotionalism can be attributed to that).   It's such a beautiful song and it does capture a lot of what mothers feel about their children growing up.  

I know that I am a long ways off from having Charissa or Verity leave home, but I know it will pass by so quickly.  Charissa is already almost two, and I have a hard time believing it.  I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be at home with her everyday and have the time to enjoy her.  And these last few days I've been doing a lot of that.  We've had some extra-special mama-daughter time where I've really tried to be focused on her and love on her.  This is probably compounded by the fact that in 7 short weeks I'll no longer have just one to focus on, and while I'm so excited about Verity, I know I'll miss that one-on-one time.  

Here are the lyrics to the song, but you really need to listen to it to get the full effect.  So watch it on youtube. 

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when shes gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...

Who Stole My Baby?

And left me with this toddler?

She's pretty cute though.  Maybe I'll just keep her.  

In all seriousness, I've really seen some maturity in Charissa lately and it's been so neat to watch.  She's really no longer my baby, but a very active, curious, sweet little girl.  I am thankful that we're having another little girl soon because I'm starting to miss the baby phase.  

Tagged!

I was tagged by Nicole - a friend from church. She mandated that both of us have to make our own list ... she's a toughie. And let's just say that my last was done WAY before Britt's. Apparently things like "work" and "seminary" get in the way of his ability to make a list of little known facts about himself.

The Rules:

• Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog
• Share 7 little known facts about yourself on your blog
• Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs
• Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

1. I love the show FRIENDS. I have all 10 seasons on DVD and I watch through them one episode at a time from the pilot to the very last season. Of course it takes a long time to do this because there are 1) a ton of episodes and 2) I don't sit around watching TV all day.
2. In my lifetime I've tried ballet, tap, soccer, tennis, swimming, gymnastics, basketball, interpretive dance, softball, volleyball, piano, recorder, violin, trumpet, and percussion. I'm not good at any of them.
3. I hate leftovers. I won't eat them unless it's something especially amazing (like Thanksgiving leftovers ... or pizza). Fortunately I have a husband who loves taking leftovers to work for lunch, so I have no problems with wasted food.
4. I love lists. I make lists for everything. Grocery store shopping list, things to do for the week, present ideas, things to get for Verity ... anything that has more than one thing I need to remember gets a list. And I have a notebook that I write these all down in and if I were to lose that notebook I might go a little crazy in search of it.
5. My toenails haven't been unpolished in probably 10-13 years. I hate to have unpolished toenails, so they are always done - even in the winter. I know that it can discolor my nails, but I figure I never leave them unpolished so no one will know!
6. I love musicals and operas. In fact when I was 5 that was pretty much all I would watch. Phantom of the Opera is my favorite.
7. My mom and I have the exact same hands. If you took a picture of hers and one of mine you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Our fingers curve at the same places, our nails are shaped the same, and we both have slightly reddened skin due to eczema.

Britt's List (he came up with the list, I'm writing them out):

1. When he was in high school, Britt was asked to be one of Joseph's brothers in the school play. However, they discovered that his "acting out" in class didn't transfer to the stage, so he got to be another brother with less lines.
2. Britt was valedictorian of North Raleigh Christian Academy. That's right - he was #1 of 37 students.
3. In college, Britt and two of his friends formed a rocking Christian band called Fairbanks. They spent about two years together practicing, playing, and touring the countryside. That's a literal "countryside." They went all of North Carolina's small towns and played shows. And then they have a Germany tour. If you want a CD, that can be arranged.
4. Britt loves to build things. Any chance to get his drill out is taken. If we end up never having boys, I'm sure Britt will get little pink tool belts for the girls so that they can help him.
5. Britt suffers from poor circulation in his hands and feet. So often he is cold when it's not really that chilly. In fact, this August I had the thermostat set at 74* and he told me that he was cold. Ridiculous. Unfortunately, we think CJ takes after him so now I live with two people who are always cold and they get to determine the thermostat setting since I'm outnumbered.
6. I'm going to make a lot of women jealous when I say this - but Britt is an unbelievable bathroom cleaner. He gets it cleaner than I do. It's amazing. Now, I don't often ask him to clean because I feel like it's not his responsibility, but when I do I always get great results. He gets all the corners and it's just spotless.
7. Britt loves The Office. I liked it first and talked him into watching it with me. He didn't really like it for a while, but then all of a sudden he loved it. I think because he's worked in a place that has some similarities to the characters and situations on the show.

Okay ... that's all from us. Here's who we're tagging:

1. The Sylvesters
2. The McInnises
3. The Normans
4. The Powells
5. The Houstons
6. The Richardsons

You can each answer, split the list, or just one of you answer. It's up to you.

Tuesday Tip - Back it Up!

Britt and I recently bought two new laptops and we're very excited to have (for the first time in our marriage) new and working computers.  It came at a really good time too, because our old lappy finally kicked the bucket last week and now it absolutely refuses to turn on.  

We've hard some very difficult times with computers in the last few years and I think we've learned some valuable lessons about patience with technology (it will breakdown eventually) and how to be prepared when your computer does break down.  Here is my advice: back it up.  If it's important to you and you ever want to see it again, back it up.  You never know when your computer is going to get a virus or fall off a counter or have coffee spilled on it.  It's best just to play it safe.  

Since I'm not in school or working, there are very few documents I make that are critical.  It's mostly just pictures.  So now I have a new plan.  Well, I've had this plan for a long time, but I've never been able to implement it due to having computers with faulty CD drives.  On the first of every month, I'm going to burn all of the previous month's photos onto a CD.  For instance, on November 1st, I will burn all of the pictures I took in October of 2008 onto a CD.  That way, if anything happens, I haven't lost all my pictures.  Today I spent all of Charissa's naptime organizing our pictures and burning them onto CDs.  I can't tell you how happy I was to finally have that project done and how happy I was knowing I couldn't lose them.

Along with last week's Tuesday Tip, I do have the eventual goal of putting the picture CD in a scrapbook at the end of that month's pages.  Wouldn't that be nice?  

Somewhere Between Strawberry Ice Cream and Cotton Candy

Oh it's pink.  It's crazy pink.  When we found out we were having another girl, I went a little crazy for the pink.  We finished redoing Charissa and Verity's room and here are the results:

I'm sorry the pictures are bad - but I'm not a very good photographer.  But this will give you an idea.  My family came in and helped paint the room and put things up on the walls.  It's so nice to be done with it long before Verity ever comes.  

I do sometimes think about what will happen if we end up having a boy instead of a girl.  It'd be kind of a rough beginning having only pink clothing and coming home to a pink room.   

Some Days You Just Start Off Wrong ...

I'm not sure if Charissa fell off the bed, or got down at some point in the night, but when I went to go check on her this morning, this is what I found:

Poor baby bundle.  Later when I checked on her she had climbed back in bed and didn't let on that anything had happened.  

Verity Has a Future in Banking!

My sister-in-law sent me a text message last night that said "Did you know Verity has her own credit union?  I have the picture to prove it!"  

So I googled it (which, by the way, "google" is an actual verb now) and found out that Verity Credit Union is a Washington state based bank where the motto is "Where You Truly Matter." 

I'm wondering if our Verity can get a free checking account there.  Or maybe a job when she's older.  

So if you live in Washington and need a credit union, I know of one now.  

I Just Don't Get It ...

You know when you're reading a recipe and it says "Prep Time: 10 minutes" and you think "Yes! Exactly what I need tonight."  Then you realize that's 10 minutes of prep if you have the chicken already cooked and diced, the vegetables peeled and chopped, etc., etc..  And who's done that already?  So that "10 minute prep time" suddenly turns into 30.

If I were to write a cookbook, these would be my rules:

• Always include a COLOR picture with every recipe.  If it was a complicated recipe, I'd include pictures for each step.  
• Prep times would be honest - which would include chopping time.  
• There would be an entire section dedicated to spices and what foods go well with them.
• I'd also include a glossary to explain those weird cooking terms.

But I don't think I'm ever going to write a cookbook.  I think you have to know more about cooking than I do.  Unless it was a really short one.  

Tuesday Tip - Keep a Journal

I've caught myself saying to Britt or my mom, "Oh Charissa did the funniest thing ... what was it?"  And that's usually the same day the event happened.  I can't imagine how much I'm going to forget in the next 5 years, let alone in 20 when Charissa actually wants to hear these stories (or her significant other will).  So I started a diary to keep track of all the funny things she does and says and the significant moments and milestones.  I thought about writing it in a book, but then I realized I would never sit down and actually do that, so I'm keeping it on the computer.  In my greatest hopes, I'll print it out every month and include some of the entries with the pictures and mementos that I scrapbook.  But I'm just taking it one step at a time.  

I just keep thinking of what a valuable gift this will be to my children.  To have detailed (and dated!) memories of their childhood to look back on when I can't remember or, God forbid, I'm not there to relay them.  Hopefully, I will start sitting down a few times a week and record events and stories so they aren't lost due to my poor memory.  And think of all the fun we'll be able to have at her teen birthdays, special occasions and when her future husband says, "do you have any funny stories about Charissa from her childhood?"  How great will it be to have stories all typed up and ready for those occasions?  Oh what fun.  :)

Book Review - The Three-Martini Playdate

I read a really funny book last week.  It's called The Three-Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting by Christie Mellor.  She is an actress and writer who has a refreshing perspective on parenting and a child's role in the family.  Now, I have to qualify my review by saying that 1) she's not a Christian so some of her methods I don't agree with, and 2) she recommends drinking and smoking way too much.  

To get a taste, here are a few chapter titles:

• The Childproof House: How to Know If You've Gone Too Far
• Screaming: Is it Necessary?
• Diaper Bag or Steamer Trunk?
• Preschool: The Fast Track to Harvard
• "Children's Music" : Why?
• Karate, Little League, and Ballet: Your Child's Eighty-Hour Work Week

I laughed through the whole thing.  Mellor has a very dry sense of humor and I just loved her responses to our culture's method of parenting.  She actually recommends saying "no" to your children and setting limitations as well teaching them right from wrong without worrying that you'll crush their self-esteem.  

It's 140 pages of light reading that you can probably finish in 2 nap times.  I completely recommend it to all parents as a way to laugh at the struggles we all go through in parenting.  And you can get it from the public library!  So there's no excuse not to go out and read it immediately.  

Enjoy!  

Giggles, Giggles, Giggles

Last night we were all playing in Charissa's room after dinner. We played with the puzzles and read books and created and destroyed many block towers. A very fun playtime. I was laying on the floor as I was feeling especially tired, when Charissa came over and asked to kiss Baby V. Kissing Baby V mostly just involved CJ putting her face against my stomach, but it's the thought that counts. Well, for some reason, last night she decided that Baby V needed raspberries (where you blow and make that funny noise) more than kisses. It was hysterical! We didn't even know she was capable of blowing raspberries. Since we laughed every time she did it, she just kept doing it. Britt and I laid on the floor laughing, and Charissa would blow, and then raise her head and giggle. It was so much fun.

It was a wonderful family moment.

Tuesday Tip - Just Try It

Everyone remembers their mother saying at some point, "Try it ... you might like it." The "it" could be a new food, or a new game, or a new friend - there were lots of "its" over the years. I feel like we need to keep telling ourselves that even as adults. There are lots of things that look scary or too complex or not appetizing, but we should have an adventurous spirit and attempt the unknown!

Last night I was telling my mom how thankful I was that she got me a sewing machine for Christmas. It was a gift I never would have asked for, and never even thought that I would use. Less than a year later, I use my sewing machine ALL the time. It's ridiculous. I never would have thought that I would love it as much as I do. I think if you asked me I still wouldn't say that "I love to sew", but I love that I can. I love that I can make things for my home or my daughters ... or just fix something. I mean, it took some serious effort in the beginning and I had to read the owner's manual (twice), but I'm not scared of a sewing machine anymore.

Sewing is really just one example and not the thing I am encouraging everyone to try (unless you want to). Be bold - try a new recipe! Make your own wreath! Try your hand at painting or knitting or gardening or canning. Don't limit yourself. Think of something you've always wanted to do and pursue it. Do some research on the internet. Check out a book from the library about it. Ask a friend. Ask your mom.

What's the worst that can happen when you try something new? You find out you don't like it. And then at least you know you tried.

I am really enjoying C.S. Lewis

I've been reading Mere Christianity and Letters to Children (both by C.S. Lewis), and they have just been so encouraging and rewarding. I didn't really plan to read them at the same time, but I'm so thankful that it worked out that way because I get to see two very different sides of Lewis. In Mere Christianity he defends the basic beliefs of Christianity and explains them in ways that are both mind-blowing and simple at the same time. While it's not difficult to read, the subject mater is weighty and often I feel I have to reread portions several times to fully understand what he's talking about. Well, not fully understand ... maybe just "get the idea." But Letters to Children is so different! This is a collection of letters that he wrote in response to letters children sent him, mostly about the Chronicles of Narnia. But they're so cute! You can just tell that he loves children. He writes very passionately to them about their pets and their drawings and whatever it is that is on their mind. It's a side of Lewis that I'm not sure I ever would have picked up on if I didn't read this collection.

I will leave you with this great quote I read yesterday in Mere Christianity. He says, "There are people who want to keep our sex instinct inflamed in order to make money out of us. Because, of course, a man with an obsession is a man who has very little sales-resistance." This is from a chapter on sexual morality, but I feel that you could replace "sex instinct" with a lot of other worldly desires.

Seriously - I think everyone could benefit from a little C.S. Lewis in their lives.

Preparing for Two ...

I think there is some sort of rule that if you have two girls close in age you have to dress them in matching clothing at some point. To make sure I follow said rule, I made these dresses:






I know these pictures aren't the best, but for some reason I was really having trouble (the camera wasn't - it was me). I had purchased this material on a whim because I liked it so much, but it's been sitting in my closet for the last 8 months with no purpose in mind. So I decided I would make the girls some jumpers. I probably have enough material left to make myself a jumper, but I draw the line there on matching clothes. I don't even like to match with Britt (although he really does and I think he tries to do it without me catching him in time to change).

Little girls are so fun to plan for! I am so thankful I have girls ... even though in ten years it's going to turn into drama, drama, drama.